A Post I Couldn't Find A Name For

Last week I was going to write a catch-up post about how I've been while I had my Youtube Blog takeover, but to be totally honest with you I didn't feel I could. If you've been a regular reader you will know that I usually post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. My blog is my place I go to, to have a break and let my creativity run wild. But last week I had some terrible family news.

I wasn't going to mention it on here, but I feel that I offer so much of myself on here already I have nothing to fear mentioning this too.

The terrible news I received was that my sixteen (well almost sixteen) year old baby sister got rushed to hospital because she tried to end her life. I won't go into the details but this news shook me to the core.

I come from quite a large family, three brother's and two sisters so we are all quite close. As soon as I heard this news I wanted to drop everything and rush to my sister. Of course I couldn't though, I was working at the time and don't drive so couldn't get to the hospital. But through about a hundred calls to different members of my family I found out that she was not going to die.

Thank goodness..

My sister has/had been going through some problems for a while like not attending school for the last year properly, becoming obsessed with what she was and wasn't eating and self harming. We had all tried to help. First by talking to her about how things will be okay and how we are there for her, my mum and her school even got some medical help. We thought that she was improving but she wasn't. And to be honest I think we all just hoped she was, so we didn't see that she was lying to us when she said she felt better.

"If only I could have done more" is a question that keeps running through my mind..
My sister is now in an in-patients unit and I have been speaking to her on the phone every day and have visited her twice. I am trying to be strong for her but behind closed doors I am devastated I couldn't have realised quite how bad the situation was/is.

I am also sending her a quote each day to try and lift her spirits. I myself have suffered with depression in the past and still have the odd dark day but I can't imagine how bad my sister feels right now. All I know is that I am here for her and I must stay strong for her.
One odd thing for me though, is that I haven't cried about any of this yet, I usually cry so easily at the silliest of things. I'm actually thinking that it hasn't properly sunk in yet and that it will hit me soon. But like I said I'm am going to stay strong for my sister for now.

With everything that is going on right now I can't commit to posting regularly like I normally do and my Youtube videos are even further down my to do list but I will try.
I have a lot I want to share with you all, like the wonderful things I've been doing lately and the amazing products I have been trying or finding again. So hopefully things will slowly get back to some sort of normality, if that's even possible and all regular postings will be back soon.

I'm sorry if some of you didn't like reading this and I'm not after any sympathy or anything. I just want myself to be honest, and this blog to be a place for everything including the not so great things that life throws at us. We are only human after all.
Has anyone else gone through anything like this themselves or has a friend or family member been struggling like my sister? Please feel free to leave me a comment below or a link to a site you think might help in anyway.

Thanks Guys
Love Hayley

p.s my giveaway is still running so if you have already entered don't worry I will still be sending out the prize to the winner once I announce them.


  1. Well, that's obviously horrible to hear. I am glad you're staying strong and don't give up. Your family needs you and so it's no problem that you stop posting for a while. I just hope that things will be ok. :/ Honestly I have had really bad times as well, I guess we all do, but it is so easy to hide it. Don't worry that you thought your sister was feeling better.

    1. Thanks so much lovely. I'm trying to stay strong there's no point me getting too upset what will that achieve right?!

  2. Oh how horrible for you and your family. I love all the quotes you're sending your sister, sometimes it just helps knowing someone is thinking of you.

    1. Thank you and yes that's exactly why I am doing it so she know's I love her and am here for her even though she cant see me every day.

  3. Oh gosh! I'm so sorry to hear this Hayley! :(
    I hope your sister is on the road to recovery and that you and your family are okay and staying strong in the process! Seems like you're doing a great job so far!

    Someone very close to me has talked about attempting suicide many times and luckily it hasn't got to that, but he went to CBT which really helped him. I know it's not for everyone, but it's his escape to help him deal with it all!
    I hope everything works out for the better and if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm all ears!

    Tania xxxxx

    1. Thank you soo much Tania. I may be bending your ear very soon.

  4. Hey lovely! Have been super busy so have only just read this. I'm super sorry to hear about your sister, can only imagine what it's like and am thinking of you right now xx

  5. I've only just discovered your blog and was scrolling through your posts when I saw this and felt I had to comment. I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I had a similar situation with my Dad about 4 1/2 years ago - thankfully he made it, but it was really questionable whether he was going to survive those first few nights. I really sympathise with what you're going through and honestly the only advice I can offer is to always be open for her to chat to and time will help heal everything, not only for her but for you and your family as I know this must be a huge emotional turmoil for you all also.

    On a more positive note, I'm loving your blog and am signing up to receive regular updates :) xx

    1. Nicki reading what you wrote was lovely. The advice you give is great, I really do think the best thing to do is show your there to just listen. Sometimes that is all some needs.

      Also thank you for signing up I hope you enjoy everything I post. :)